“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“What am I doing wrong?  Why am I not communicating well?”

I’m in a meeting talking about a group of people who are having a hard time coming to a decision.  One of my best people and I are debating back and forth about whether we should let the group come to their own conclusion, or just tell them what’s happening.  I feel like I’m speaking in German while he’s talking French.  We have to reach a conclusion about this issue, and he’s framing it as a choice between telling them what to do or letting them make their own choice.

If you’re a boss, supervisor, manager or leader, you’ve probably been in a similar position.  You try to get your message across, but you’re just not communicating.  It’s one of the biggest frustrations we can have.

Suddenly, with a blinding flash of the obvious, I realized the problem.  We’re debating about an either/or choice, when there’s another option.  Being an expressive person who occasionally has no safety valve between brain and mouth, I blurted out, “Leaders gotta lead.”

This is one of the most difficult principles of leadership. You’re there, not to boss people around and tell them what to do, but to lead.  That means making the hard decisions, and yes, even pissing people off occasionally.

I guess the real skill is in knowing when to make the tough decision and when to keep quiet.  I’m not sure I’ve mastered that skill.

A leader realizes  there are always other options, and it’s rarely an either/or option.   Being a leader means focusing on doing the right thing rather than doing things right.  Either/or is a case of trying to do things right, and that my not be the issue at all.

Leaders must lead.