The three reasons things are usually done:

1. (Air Talent) “It’ll be funny.”
2. (Program Director) “It’ll get ratings.”
3. (General Manager): “It’ll schmooze a client.”

These are not Strategies, they’re just aspirations.  Let’s examine them…

Funny.
Something being “funny” is certainly not always a reality, and you can’t just use that crayon all the time anyway.  I would just say, “Try to make the show fun,” and keep in mind who your listener is.

“It’ll get ratings.”
Even with all the latest tactics on affecting PPM (or now, Nielson), you really can’t predict what will “get ratings” except in terms of doing things every time you open the mic that are compelling to the LISTENER.   And it goes deeper than that, because anything that seems calculated SOLELY to get ratings will ring HOLLOW with the Listener.  You can use any tactic you want to, but unless what you’re doing is either Informative or Entertaining (or both), it won’t work.

“It’ll schmooze a client.”
This means nothing to the Listener, and maybe even works AGAINST the Talent if it’s perceived as “selling out”.

There are only two legitimate reasons to do anything on the air:

1. It’s Relevant to the listener.
2. It has a Benefit to the listener.

Those things will ALWAYS work.  Tactics have their place, but believe me, if you do things for the right reasons – STRATEGIC reasons – winning becomes a byproduct.

Self-promotional afterthought: you can’t do it without great talent.  If you’re a PD or GM, rather than getting caught up in a vicious circle of hiring, then firing, consider bringing in a coach to develop your talent.

– – – – – – –
Tommy Kramer
Talent Coach
214-632-3090 (iPhone)
e-mail: coachtommykramer@gmail.com
Member, Texas Radio Hall of Fame
© 2016 by Tommy Kramer. All rights reserved.

In the last tip, I dealt with the latest radio “incomplete thought” – constantly teasing something at the end of each break.

If you go back and read my tip on “The First Exit” (it’s #3 on my website), you’ll see that the most effective momentum device EVER is to get out at the first place a break “resolves”.  You always leave ’em wanting more, and you have great – and unpredictable – forward momentum.

Over the years (and I first wrote about this over 20 years ago), I’ve heard this misinterpreted in a lot of different ways, like…

“Get out at the first punch line.” (Not everything is funny.  Sometimes there ISN’T a punch line.)

“Get out at the First Exit – but then say our names, or the name of the station, into the break.” (Really?  You WANT your name or the station’s name right next to commercials?  What do you think the listener associates you with then?  The “First In, Last Out” thing never worked, and it doesn’t work now, either.)

And then there’s our newest incarnation:  “Take the First ‘out’, but then do a tease of what’s coming up.”  (NO! This completely DESTROYS the First Exit.  Taylor Swift doesn’t end a song by playing a few notes of the next song she’s going to do.)

A show without SURPRISES is a show that’s not worth listening to.  I don’t WANT to know everything you’re going to do ahead of time.  In the last tip, I listed the four or five categories of things that are worth “promoting ahead” (not “teasing” – I can’t stand that word. When someone calls you a “tease”, that’s NOT a compliment).

I have to go away now.  The large vein in my neck is really starting to throb.

– – – – – – –
Tommy Kramer
Talent Coach
214-632-3090 (iPhone)
e-mail: coachtommykramer@gmail.com
Member, Texas Radio Hall of Fame
© 2016 by Tommy Kramer. All rights reserved.

Okay, it’s time to deal with the current thinking on teases, versus what actually works.  Here are some excerpts from a couple of memos that real living, breathing Program Directors have given to their air talent recently…

“Eliminate as much as possible ‘I’ and ‘We’ and instead use ‘You’.”
Nothing wrong with that, until this PD illustrates just how to do it:

“You’ll be talking about our next story at work today.”

There’s no way you could possibly know what I’ll be talking about at work today (it could be, astonishingly, WORK related), and you need to STOP trying to tell the Listener what to think.

“You’re gonna love our new game, ‘Scratch and Sniff Audio’ in the next ten minutes.”

Again, you don’t know that I’m going to “love” it.  My reaction (at least the one I can print) is “Meh…” …followed by a loud “click” as I punch another button on my radio.

“The thing most women do in the car that might be WORSE than texting and driving.  You might be guilty of it, ladies, and we’ll find out in ten minutes.”

No, YOU may find out, but I don’t really give a crap.  And I’m not “ladies.”  Talk to ONE person.  Don’t throw me into a “collective” that I didn’t ask to be part of.  This destroys radio’s most unique strength – the one-on-one connection with the listener.

“Feeling smart today? The list of the Top 10 Smartest Cities is out.”

The answer to every question you ever ask on the air is either “NO” or “I don’t CARE.”  And I already saw the list.  EVERYBODY who cared already saw the list.  It came up on the home page of every website, or on my iPhone – and it was ONLY THERE TO TAKE UP SPACE BETWEEN THE ADS.

“Would you like to take a break from parenting?”

(NO, I’d like to take a break from being asked rhetorical questions by an idiot who’s “pretending” to talk to me.)

“What the majority of parents are doing to get that break, in 7 minutes.”

This is too exact a time line. “In the next ten minutes” is what you want to say.  ESPN tried this “Joe Namath interview in 13 minutes” type of thing – and it BOMBED.  The whole PURPOSE of giving a Time Line in the first place is to tell me how long I have to listen to make SURE that I hear it.  If I tune in (or stick around until) 7 minutes from now, you’d better by God be doing it.  The minute you don’t, and I hear something ELSE when that’s supposed to be on, you’ve LIED to me – and I’ll never believe anything you say again.

Here’s what you can and should promote.  (Notice that I don’t even USE the word “tease” in coaching.)

1. A contest.  When I can win some money or concert tickets might actually matter to me.
2. A feature of the show. “The Hollywood Dish is next.”
3. When a guest will be on.
4. How I can find out more about a station event, or see video of something, or participate in something, on the station’s website or your Facebook page.
5. MAYBE… promote a new song by a core artist coming up.  But even then, only do it when you’ve stopped down, NOT over another song, because then, the implied message is “since we know this song isn’t really very good, we’re going to try to get you to hang around by promoting a different one.”

That’s it.  Nothing else is worth promoting.

Stop The Tease Madness.

If it matters to me (as a listener), it works.  If it doesn’t (and just teasing some nebulous thing you’re going to talk about, like “What happened to Corkhead at the mall yesterday… in ten minutes” DOESN’T), then it doesn’t – and no amount of teasing will MAKE it matter.  Other things should just come up naturally in the conversation – you know, like in real life.

Yes, I realize there’s a whole school of Programmers and Consultants that think otherwise, because of some sideways, momentary, imagined indicator in PPM.  But don’t even get me started on how many holes there are in THAT methodology.  Voltaire, the giant band-aid, anyone?

The biggest problem with the “always do a tease” mentality is that you remove any element of Surprise from the show.  I seriously doubt if anyone would have gone to see “The Force Awakens” if a crawl came across the bottom of the screen, or one of the characters teased “Han Solo dies… in the next ten minutes.”

Here’s what actually works better than any attempt to manipulate the listener: say something really interesting or entertaining every single time you open the mic.  And only promote things that he or she really cares about.

– – – – – – –
Tommy Kramer
Talent Coach
214-632-3090 (iPhone)
e-mail: coachtommykramer@gmail.com
Member, Texas Radio Hall of Fame
© 2016 by Tommy Kramer. All rights reserved.

Here’s something your boss will probably never tell you:  Don’t try.

How this translates to what we do is that sounding like you’re “trying” can be felt on the other end of the radio, and it pushes people away.

It’s got to seem easy, spontaneous, like you just thought of it.  When you attempt to “sell” something, you’re missing the whole point.  We want to SWAY the listener, draw her or him a step closer, convince that person break-by-break, day-by-day, that listening to you is the most valid choice.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t give it your best effort.  You should be conscious of making even the simplest, most mundane break you do be bright, tight, pro, and polished.  But “trying” comes across as “trying too hard” – maybe even begging for attention or validation.  That never works.

So have fun today… but don’t “try”.

– – – – – – –
Tommy Kramer
Talent Coach
214-632-3090 (iPhone)
e-mail: coachtommykramer@gmail.com
Member, Texas Radio Hall of Fame
© 2016 by Tommy Kramer. All rights reserved.