Tommy Kramer Tip #126 – Splitting Sentences Up

You’ve heard this, and you’ve seen it done on TV commercials, too. One person starts a sentence, but then it’s split up as another person continues it.  I saw a TV spot where EVERY sentence was split up among several different people.

And I can’t count how many morning show promos have been done this way.

[1st voice] “Hi, I’m Snarf…”
[2nd voice] “and I’m Garfle…”
[1st voice] “from the Snarf and Garfle show…”
[2nd voice] “All this week, we’re giving away tickets”
1st voice] “in the alley next to the Keith Urban concert…”
[2nd voice] “you could be the winner…”
[1st voice] “and get mugged by a drug dealer!”

This is just editing gone crazy.

Give yourself permission to sound more plausible.  Don’t split sentences up.

In real life, when someone finishes the other person’s sentence, it’s either too “cutesy” or just downright annoying.

Plus, you destroy the rhythm of the copy when you do those half-thoughts.  It’s difficult to match the other person’s tempo and emotional vibe, so it ends up sounding choppy.

One person does the greeting. The other does the main message.  The first person then tags it.  Each completes his or her own sentence.  You get the same effect – an energetic read – without having to rush like your pants are on fire.

(And it sounds more real.)

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Tommy Kramer
Talent Coach
214-632-3090 (iPhone)
e-mail: coachtommykramer@gmail.com
Member, Texas Radio Hall of Fame
© 2015 by Tommy Kramer. All rights reserved.

 

 

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